Parenting – What needs to be decided?

If you are separating and you have children, your children are likely your main concern. You need to gain an understanding of the two main issues that are required to be determined on separation for the children: decision-making and parenting time.

 At the outset, it is important to understand that you, as a parent, have no “rights” to the child. It is the child who has rights.

Decision-making has replaced a term most people know, which is custody. Decision-making refers to who will make major decisions on behalf of the child. Decision-making encompasses decisions with respect to, health care, education, religion and major extra-curricular activities. It does not encompass day to day decisions. Options for decision-making include:

1.     Sole Decision-Making: one party makes all major decisions for the child. Often this scenario includes a detailed process for the non-decision making parent to express an opinion on matters to be decided, but ultimately, one parent has the right to make all final decisions.

2.     Joint Decision-Making: both parents share an equal responsibility to make major decisions regarding the child’s upbringing. This means that any major decisions that need to be made require a consensus between the parents. A key factor to consider in joint decision-making is whether the parties can cooperate, communicate, and manage conflict to act in the best interests of the child together.

3.     Split or Parallel Decision-Making: this option gives each parent a decision-making responsibility of one or more factors to be decided. For example, one parent may have decision-making for education and religion and the other for extra-curricular activities and health care.

The next issue to determine for the children is what parenting schedule will they have? Will they reside primarily with one parent and visit the other parent during specified periods? Will they reside equally with both parents and on what schedule? How will the children share holidays between the parents and what about summer vacation time from school? Do the children get a voice in the matter and how does that get ascertained?

All of these issues are decided in accordance with the “best interests of the child”, which is a principle grounded in legislation and case law, resulting in both a right of the child and obligation on the parent. For advice on parenting and all that is involved, contact us for a consultation.